(no subject)
Apr. 4th, 2009 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
[Private; hackable]
... things are slowly getting better, or at least they were. I don't know. I feel stuck in the middle of nowhere now.
I think I put it well when Erk asked how I am... I'm lonely when I think about Heather... and I think about her a lot.
I never had to work at being happy. Lately all I can do is be just a little happy, and that's only when I can keep my mind off of Heather. But that's a little better than before... right?
... and also... without Heather around, sometimes I find myself wanting to... wait, someone might be able to read this!
[Still private; A little harder to hack]
... I have, um... hungers I never used to, and my heart just feels heavier. I feel more guarded ever since she left. It's the same feeling as when you're fighting, but you're afraid to fight... you get slow, your body feels a size too small for heart, throwing everything off... and at the same time, I feel like I have more 'life experience' or something, I guess...
... but that doesn't make me happier either.
I guess I feel a little bit older. ... I wonder if that's how it is...
... things are slowly getting better, or at least they were. I don't know. I feel stuck in the middle of nowhere now.
I think I put it well when Erk asked how I am... I'm lonely when I think about Heather... and I think about her a lot.
I never had to work at being happy. Lately all I can do is be just a little happy, and that's only when I can keep my mind off of Heather. But that's a little better than before... right?
... and also... without Heather around, sometimes I find myself wanting to... wait, someone might be able to read this!
[Still private; A little harder to hack]
... I have, um... hungers I never used to, and my heart just feels heavier. I feel more guarded ever since she left. It's the same feeling as when you're fighting, but you're afraid to fight... you get slow, your body feels a size too small for heart, throwing everything off... and at the same time, I feel like I have more 'life experience' or something, I guess...
... but that doesn't make me happier either.
I guess I feel a little bit older. ... I wonder if that's how it is...
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:13 am (UTC)You're doing well. You're growing. Heather and Nanoha would be proud.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:26 am (UTC)... I don't like it...
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:29 am (UTC)...Going through hardships is one of them. I wish it were avoidable, but....everyone suffers sometime and has to grow.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:58 am (UTC)... we can't run away, can we? Like, I mean... even if we run, I don't feel like we can run fast enough...
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:07 am (UTC)But you'll get through over time and we'll all be even more proud of you.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:11 am (UTC)[Hugs]
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:18 am (UTC)You'll be able to do it. I have faith in you.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:23 am (UTC)Th...thank you...
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 06:36 pm (UTC)You are... so strong, Subaru. Stronger than I will ever be.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:32 pm (UTC)... it's' not like I feel have some kind of purpose.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-05 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-06 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-06 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 01:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 02:04 am (UTC)