airgeargaigar | (no subject)

[Private; hackable]

... things are slowly getting better, or at least they were. I don't know. I feel stuck in the middle of nowhere now.

I think I put it well when Erk asked how I am... I'm lonely when I think about Heather... and I think about her a lot.

I never had to work at being happy. Lately all I can do is be just a little happy, and that's only when I can keep my mind off of Heather. But that's a little better than before... right?

... and also... without Heather around, sometimes I find myself wanting to... wait, someone might be able to read this!

[Still private; A little harder to hack]
... I have, um... hungers I never used to, and my heart just feels heavier. I feel more guarded ever since she left. It's the same feeling as when you're fighting, but you're afraid to fight... you get slow, your body feels a size too small for heart, throwing everything off... and at the same time, I feel like I have more 'life experience' or something, I guess...

... but that doesn't make me happier either.

I guess I feel a little bit older. ... I wonder if that's how it is...