(no subject)

[airgeargaigar]

[Private; hackable]

... things are slowly getting better, or at least they were.  I don't know.  I feel stuck in the middle of nowhere now.

I think I put it well when Erk asked how I am... I'm lonely when I think about Heather... and I think about her a lot.

I never had to work at being happy.  Lately all I can do is be just a little happy, and that's only when I can keep my mind off of Heather.  But that's a little better than before... right?

... and also... without Heather around, sometimes I find myself wanting to... wait, someone might be able to read this!

[Still private; A little harder to hack]
... I have, um... hungers I never used to, and my heart just feels heavier.  I feel more guarded ever since she left.  It's the same feeling as when you're fighting, but you're afraid to fight... you get slow, your body feels a size too small for heart, throwing everything off... and at the same time, I feel like I have more 'life experience' or something, I guess...

... but that doesn't make me happier either.

I guess I feel a little bit older.  ... I wonder if that's how it is...

Comments

[for-the-queen.livejournal.com]

You have lost someone dear to you, but still your resolve never wavers. I do not believe I could say the same.

[airgeargaigar.livejournal.com]

My resolve? But... I don't really feel like I have any of that right now.

... it's' not like I feel have some kind of purpose.

[for-the-queen.livejournal.com]

Yet you haven't given up hope. I have seen decorated knights take their own lives after the loss of a friend. You, Subaru, have proven your strength beyond a shadow of a doubt.

[airgeargaigar.livejournal.com]

N-Never do that...

[for-the-queen.livejournal.com]

Of course not. Life is too precious... You all have shown me that much.