airgeargaigar | (no subject)

From time to time, I still wake up teary eyed in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, but... heh... ... maybe I'm getting used to it something? All I can say is life is becoming a bit more easy going again... this whole boxing club thing has been good for me, I think. I'm learning a lot about myself. I'm pretty sure I must have used to do something like this... throwing punches comes so naturally. That makes sense, I guess. I do own this gauntlet.

In a lot of the training I'm constantly holding back, though. I've found I'm a lot stronger than a normal person, maybe a bit quicker, and I've got a lot of stamina. Those laps around the building aren't so bad~

I'm still kind of afraid of what I might be able to do if I tried my hardest, but I'm also kinda curious...

I was a fighter of some kind though...? How did that happen...? I can't imagine wanting to hurt someone, so why did I fight? Sometimes I wonder about what kind of person I used to be, like... I wonder if upon losing all my memories, I became some one else entirely. That's kind of scary. I mean, I like who I am right now, and I can't imagine having been different. Okay, so I can imagine it, but I don't really like it. I don't want to lose who I am right now...

And even though I've had this stuff on my mind, like I said, things have been more easy going. I'm glad these kind of thoughts haven't been so large in my life lately. I've been thinking about other things too...

Oh, I went back and made a couple of posts I've made in the last week or so public. I guess I don't feel like I need hide anything. ~~If Heather reads any of it, I hope she takes it well...~~

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Subaruuuu, I told you not to be ~~foolish~~ silly! You're you and you'll be you, no matter what you get for memories. I definitely like you how you are~

You're really that strong? There's a lot of pretty strong people around here! I'm impressed you can more than keep up with them~!

...But, still, make sure you're careful when doing all that rough stuff, okay? Even if you're that strong.

Ahahaha! ~~Wow, what was I even worried she'd think...?~~

Thanks, Heather.

And yes, I'll be careful!

Good! I don't know what I'd do if you were hurt!

...Actually, I do. I'd beat the jerk who hurt you to a pulp.

T-That won't be necessary! Really! I mean, it's just a boxing club; it isn't like we're trying to injure each other.

~~Eheheh...♥~~

Well, STILL.

...Hmm, I'd like to see one of your matches if I can. I'd enjoy seeing you...in action~

Eheh... well, maybe...

C'mon, I'm sure no one else will have a cheering squad as good as me~

Mmm, that would be nice... we'll see, okay?

Okay, Subaru~

No way I'm letting you get into a fight with people like these without me there. *grumble grumble, overprotective*

I've already remembered killing people. But I also have other memories of friends. I know Allen and Lenalee and Yuu and Lavi all fought monsters in their world, and Train was an assassin too. Everybody has their circumstances for fighting but... I don't think that they're bad.

If you wanted to train with less restraints, I could practice with you. I think I have an idea to help...

H-have you...? ~~She shares this so calmly...~~

Hmm, what's your idea...?

You're actually a robot? That's awesome!

Ummm, I'm a cyborg... ._.

Robot, Cyborg. Confusing robots with cyborgs is a common mistake.

I'd really rather you just treat me like a ... person...

Cyborgs are people, too. Stop being so predudiced.

Huh?

~~Did she just tell ME that? But I'm the... how can I be ... against myself... ehhh...?~~

Miss Subaru, I think you're a really nice person and you'll be like that no matter what! So don't worry! I believe in you!