airgeargaigar: (Bloody heart)
[personal profile] airgeargaigar
*After being stuck inside a room for a week, huddling for warmth, well... Subaru felt like two things: one was she felt like going outside, and the other was even in the middle of the night, it didn't feel very cold right now compared to before.*

*She sat out at the beach on the sand, looking at the stars and listening to the sound of the sea.  It made her feel small, and insignificant, but just a little bit, it made her problems feel that way too.  No matter how much things had changed for her, the world didn't care.  It was always the same for it.*

*That didn't really make her feel any better though.  She still wanted to just go home already.  Lately, she felt like she was just counting the days until she got to leave.*

*Absent mindedly, she tried to skip rocks.  It was pretty hard to do on moving water, though.*

*For a moment, she wondered which was wider: the sky,or the sea.*

Date: 2009-03-24 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Having been informed that a person had been sighted sitting out on the beach in the middle of the night, Agrias had immediately head out to investigate. If there was any suspicious behavior that could possibly be tied to the recent string of murders, she was determined to confront it.

Upon seeing the familiar silhouette on the beach, however, she silently took up a vigil some distance away. If Subaru wanted to speak, she would; until then, Agrias would see that she was not disturbed.]

Date: 2009-03-25 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru looked out to the horizon for a while; she wasn't sure how long, until she leaned back on the sand and just stared into the empty sky.*

*Or she would have, but in the corner of her vision she spotted a figure in the darkness*


Date: 2009-03-25 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is only I, Subaru. If my presence disturbs you, I will leave.

Date: 2009-03-26 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh. Agrias. No, you're not bothering me... *she was a little surprised to see her there, and wondered if she should invite the knight to join her*

Date: 2009-03-26 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Then if it please you, I will make my post here. I would not see you harmed by the dark forces at work of late.

...If you wish to speak, I am here.

Date: 2009-03-27 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*She scratched her head and looked up to Agrias, before assertively thrusting out her gauntleted hand* Don't worry about me! Mach Caliber's got my back.

Date: 2009-03-27 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Then perhaps you might protect me, Subaru.

Date: 2009-03-30 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We can watch each other's backs.

Date: 2009-03-24 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[She had patented mama-radar.

That, along with knowing full well that Subaru was still suffering, Fate had been teetering between giving the girl space and time, and wanting to smother her with attention and affection nonstop.

So, when Bardiche reported sensing Mach Caliber going far away in the middle of the night--Fate wanted to keep an eye on the girl and using Bardiche was the least intrusive method--she finally fell over the fence and onto the 'smother her with attention and affection' side. Fate followed and, at some point during Subaru's stay on the beach, went over to the girl.

The sight is pretty, isn't it?

Date: 2009-03-25 05:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Huh? *Subaru turned around, a touch surprised as she heard Fate speak and approach* Oh, yeah.

... it's beautiful.

Um... what are you doing out here, Fate?

Date: 2009-03-25 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Taking a walk to see the night sky...and a certain mage.

[Sits on the ground next to Subaru.]

I'm sorry I did not find you during the cold spell. You've been keeping yourself warm and have been eating well, yes?

Date: 2009-03-25 06:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*She nodded faintly* Yeah. Mach Caliber helped some during the cold snap.

Date: 2009-03-25 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's very good. You are partners and need to take care of each other.



Date: 2009-03-25 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru was a bit stunned by Fate's smile. Fate had lost Nanoha not too long ago... and yet she was smiling so brightly right now.*

*Why couldn't Subaru seem to do that? Was it just a matter of time? If so... how long would it take? She looked out to the stars and sea, and paused. It was easier to telepathize it than to vocalize it, somehow...*

How do you do it?

Date: 2009-03-25 07:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[She was a little surprised by Subaru's telepathy, but if the girl felt more comfortable speaking in that way...]

How do I do what?

Date: 2009-03-25 07:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, I still miss Nanoha, so I'm sure you still miss her, but... you still look so happy sometimes. How do you do that?

Date: 2009-03-25 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[So that's what it was. Fate's smile did not waver, but she seemed bittersweet now. She looked up into the night sky. She was still not sure what she and Nanoha were and had decided long ago it did not matter.]

There is a truth that is hard to accept and one which pains me to tell you, but...the ache does not go away. It dulls. It weakens. We...may even get used to it. But it never, ever will go away.


Even so. There is still happiness to be found. We have our family, our friends, even the strangers we meet only once. Little joys, great moments: there are opportunities for happiness to be found so long as you look for them.

You are strong, Subaru. Very, very strong in so many ways. If I can still find happiness, I know you can, too. It will be hard and it will take time, but so long as you try, you will find it.

That is what Heather would want. That is what Nanoha would want. That is, deep down, what we want and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy.

The ache comes and goes; it is worse at some times than others.

[She teared up and finally spoke out loud.]

But the ache will never control you if you don't let it. I cannot say the ache I feel is the same as yours, but if you would let me, we can share our pain; we can learn from one-another and become stronger and happier as a result.

Do not push people away and do not give up, Subaru. You will be able to be happy again with time and effort. Those that love you...including Heather...that is what they--we--want.

Date: 2009-03-26 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru was looking down at the rhythm of wet sand changing to water, changing to sea foam, and back to sand. She didn't look up and see that Fate was crying yet*

So... I have to try to be happy...? Is that it?

I can't remember ever having to try to be happy. It's just how I was.

I don't really know how to try.

Date: 2009-03-26 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You are a very lucky person to be able to live like that.

You will be able to go back to that. It will take some time. You will find how. I know you will. I cannot tell you how, as it is different for everyone, but...

I will be here for you in whatever ways I can.

[She places a hand on Subaru's shoulder.]

Cry, grieve, do whatever you want and need, Subaru. But, please, do not allow your sadness to control you. Tell yourself that there is happiness to be found.

Date: 2009-03-26 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru leaned against Fate, nodding and crying just a little...*

Date: 2009-03-26 06:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Fate wrapped an arm around Subaru's shoulders as the girl leaned against her. She didn't say anything, but instead let the two of them sit quietly; she kept her composure and cried silently.]

Date: 2009-03-25 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Erk didn't wake up when she left. She was a bit of a heavy sleeper, as Subaru herself could attest. But a need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night managed to rouse her, and she groggily made her way.

Upon exiting the bathroom, she was a bit more awake than she would have liked to be. While she was ready to go back to bed, she laid back down, quiet as ever, and tried to get back to sleep. Three minutes later, she noticed something and her eyes snapped open.

She couldn't hear Subaru breathing.

Erk snapped back up and looked over at Subaru's bed. She was gone. She was gone. There was nothing to be done about it. She was gone, and hopefully back home, and maybe that'll cheer her up...

But what about Erk? She may not have been hit as hard with Heather's loss, but it still tore a friend away from her. And now Subaru was forcefully taken as well. It was just a fact of living on this island, right? But it still hurt. Her friends being dragged off the island, one by one... who would it take from her next? Priscilla? Jr.? Lady Agrias?

There was no point to the thoughts at all, and yet she couldn't stop the tears from realizing her best friend had been taken away from her.

Date: 2009-03-25 05:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru tried to be polite when she returned. She knew Erk was a heavy sleeper, but still, she opened the door quietly and slipped in, closing it softly behind her while rubbing her eyes*

Date: 2009-03-25 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[And instead, Erk was sitting up in the bed herself with her head buried in her hands. It hadn't fully registered just yet that there was now somebody else in the room.]

Date: 2009-03-25 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru began to go towards her bed, but she halted, and noticed Erk sitting there so wilted seeming. She was tired, so when she saw Erk there, it took a moment to put things together and realize something was the matter*


Date: 2009-03-25 06:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
She's gone, don't-

Date: 2009-03-25 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru's face contorted and her eyes started to water at the words 'she's gone,'* Wh-who's gone? Who's gone now?

Date: 2009-03-25 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I thought-

But you were-

You were-

[And Erk just springs up and hugs Subaru tightly.]

Date: 2009-03-25 06:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*She's stunned for a moment,and hugs Erk* I'm sorry, I just went out for a walk, umm I really didn't mean to make you worry I never thought you'd wake up.

Date: 2009-03-25 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I just woke up and you were gone and it was like you weren't even here and it was just, just, just...

[Coherency ends about here as she hugs a little tighter.]

Date: 2009-03-25 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*Subaru hugs Erk* I'm really sorry to have worried you... I'm here, okay...?

*... she... felt a little guilty now for wishing she could go back home.*

Date: 2009-03-25 07:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[It takes her a while to really calm down, but she recovers rather quickly.]

I'm sorry. I just... everyone around me is having someone disappear, and... well, I actually have friends here. And literally waking up to see your best friend gone...

I'm sorry, I suppose I overreacted.

Date: 2009-03-25 07:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, it's not like I really do this a lot, so I understand why you were so surprised...

and as often as that kind of thing happens here, I get why you thought it was that.

Date: 2009-03-25 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well, guess I really wouldn't know if you did or didn't. I don't get up in the middle of the night often.

[She let go of her hug and retreated back to her bed. She sat back down, but before she laid down...]

Hey, Subaru?

Date: 2009-03-26 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What? *Subaru said as she pulled out a pair of pajamas*

Date: 2009-03-26 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's kinda selfish, but...

I'm glad you're still here.

Date: 2009-03-26 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*She... turned her back to Erk to change into her PJs, so Erk couldn't see her expression when she answered,* Of course.
Edited Date: 2009-03-26 05:35 am (UTC)


airgeargaigar: (Default)

December 2011

181920 21222324

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 23rd, 2017 04:26 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios